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Enjoy exercise and a healthier wellbeing.
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Be active and enjoy the great outdoors.

More than 50,000 people today are running the Virgin London Marathon, grinding the city of London to a halt. Every runner will have their own reasons to take part in this world iconic race, whether they’re competing as a professional runner, fulfilling a life-long ambition or running for charity – each person will have that burning drive to keep going, through the pain and exhaustion, after all, there are few things in life more satisfying than beating a personal goal.

We’re not suggesting that each person reading this post should enter the ballot for next years London Marathon, but by doing an activity to raise your heart rate and increase the number of breaths you take, will certainly give you a spring in your step.

What is wellbeing? The World Health Organisation defines mental health as, “a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.”

The NHS suggests “Evidence shows that there is a link between being physically active and good mental wellbeing. Being active doesn’t mean you need to spend hours in the gym, if that doesn’t appeal to you. Find physical activities that you enjoy and think about how to fit more of them into your daily life.” It also suggests that “Adults aged 19 and over should do at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity – such as fast walking or cycling – a week.”

The benefits to physical activity are incredible. Not only will you improve your blood pressure, keep your joints, bones and heart healthy, but just as importantly your mental health wellbeing should benefit. It’s important to do something that you will enjoy. To continue an activity, it should never feel like a chore. Whether you enjoy walking, yoga, swimming, or playing a sport as part of a team – it’s an excellent way to let off steam and get those endorphins flowing!

It’s important to note that we all experience negative emotions and have to deal with many of life’s challenges such as grief, loss, or failure. By taking part in physical activity does not give a cure to negative feelings or means being happy all the time, however, whatever your age, being active can help you to lead a mentally and physically healthier life.

So enjoy your day, step out into the sunshine and take advantage of your surroundings.

For more advice and information on mental health wellbeing, contact us at info@amidalifecoach.co.uk

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Rules for Being Human
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Although there is no set formula to help you be the best you can in life, Dr. Chérie Carter-Scott’s rules for being human convey a universal wisdom that, once understood and embraced, can contribute to meaningful relationships with ourselves and others, at work and at home.

Rule One:
You will receive a body. You may love it or hate it, but it will be yours for the duration of your life on Earth.

Rule Two:
You will be presented with lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called ‘life.’ Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or hate them, but you have designed them as part of your curriculum.

Rule Three:
There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation, a series of trials, errors, and occasional victories. The failed experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that work.

Rule Four:
A lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons will be repeated to you in various forms until you have learned them. When you have learned them, you can then go on to the next lesson.

Rule Five:
Learning does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

Rule Six:
‘There’ is no better than ‘here’. When your ‘there’ has become a ‘here,’ you will simply obtain a ‘there’ that will look better to you than your present ‘here’.

Rule Seven:
Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

Rule Eight:
What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you.

Rule Nine:
Your answers lie inside of you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

Rule Ten:
You will forget all of this at birth. You can remember it if you want by unravelling the double helix of inner knowing.

Reference: Dr. Chérie Carter-Scott, from “If Life is a Game, These are the Rules“

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Anxiety or Anger… recognising the difference.
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Anxiety

Unfortunately, and often the case, anxiety can be mistaken for anger due to the two having similar behaviours and characteristics.

With anxiety you may find yourself becoming withdrawn, easily irritated, and quick to react and snap in aid of stopping whatever might be causing this feeling. From the outside these traits may appear as aggressive and it’s this misunderstanding that creates a defensive response from onlookers.

Of course in order to tell the difference between anxiety and anger, it helps to understand what the terms actually mean. “First, anxiety is defined as “an unpleasant state of mental uneasiness, nervousness, apprehension and obsession or concern”. Anger is defined as “a strong feeling of displeasure, hostility or antagonism towards someone or something, usually combined with an urge to harm (physically or verbally)”.

As you can see, just because the outward symptoms may look the same, the motivation behind each is vastly different. Another way to look at it is that anxiety makes a person retreat and anger pushes a person to advance. This motivation provides clues to help you differentiate.” [Source Psych Central, blog post by Gabe Howard]

Rather than immediately confronting a distressed individual in a defensive manner, consider taking a few moments to observe and assess the entire situation before reacting or getting involved. Try to see if they want to get away or if they are trying to start a confrontation. If they are trying to get away, it’s very likely that anxiety is driving their actions.

Anxiety can be unpredictable. It can pounce on you at the most unexpected of times; like when the doorbell goes unannounced, when you’re invited to a social gathering, or perhaps a queue has built up behind you at the checkout.

We’ve all been there – your heart races and you perspire for no apparent reason, you become incoherent or light headed. When caught up in anxiety, one often responds with negative responses to the body and mind. We feel unease, nervous, apprehensive and worried. Our thoughts are full with fear, and our minds are stuck in a negative thought pattern, showering us with questions like “what if”. If this sounds all too familiar, and it happens to you regularly, then perhaps it is time to seek help.

One of the hardest parts of living with anxiety is feeling trapped, like you have no one to turn to and you have to live in a protected bubble to avoid situations you’re not comfortable with. Seeing a councillor may help you to learn how to build the confidence to push forward and decrease your stress levels… it’s often a problem that can get worse if the stress continues to build up.

You may feel ashamed to ask for help, or believe that it’s not ‘that big of a problem’. But by covering up your feelings could worsen the situation. It’s important for yourself to understand what drives your anxiety and how to deal with it.

At Amida Life Coach, we care about you. We want to help you make a connection between your thoughts and the feelings of anxiety, so you can learn to identify and counter negative thoughts to improve your mood and reduce your stress levels.

There are various way to help, however one of the most effective ways is to look at Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which will help you learn coping techniques.

CBT can help you manage your problems by enabling you to recognise how your thoughts affect both your feeling and behaviour.

 

For more information and advice on anxiety or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, please do get in touch. Contact Amida Life Coach today at info@amidalifecoach.co.uk 

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Couples Therapy – is it time to talk?
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There is no set formula, hard and fast rule, or ‘key’ to a successful relationship.

What works for one couple may be disastrous for another. For example, whilst some partners are blissfully happy living in an alpha-beta relationship, other couples may find that unison and harmony is only achievable through an utterly equal partnership.

Just as we are all unique, so too are our relationships. There is no ‘ideal’ relationship framework. No ‘one size fits-all.’

Is there even such a thing as a ‘perfect’ relationship? We highly doubt it. When Shakespeare observed that “the course of true love never did run smooth”, would he have predicted for a second that his statement would resonate and remain as poignant as ever for 21st century coupling?

Honest love is by no means easy. And sometimes, with the best of intentions and purest of feelings for our partner, we end up fighting. It could start off as the odd bicker now and again over something so small and petty you forget what it was the next day. But before long, the little fights develop into bigger ones, and you start doubting the love you hold for that person.

It’s at that moment, when you might consider couples therapy.

At Amida Life coach we believe that as with a lot of life-dilemmas, but especially those concerning the person you love, identifying that there actually is a problem in the first instance is vital for the sake of both your own and your partner’s well-being.

Perhaps you think of couples therapy as something for other partners in crisis, but not for you. You might feel intimidated, nervous, ashamed, or a combination of all three. But you absolutely shouldn’t, and neither should your partner. Couples therapy is not a taboo subject; on the contrary, it is widely accepted as being an asset to the stability and growth of modern relationships.

More and more studies are proving that counselling from a professional psychotherapist can vastly improve the quality of relationships on the precipice of a breakdown. Not only that but relationship therapy with the right therapist could help rebuild and nurture the bond between a couple, allowing the couple to be honest and frank with one another in a safe and confidential environment.

If you have any questions about couples therapy and would like to talk to us in the comfort of your own home, get in touch today, we’re here to help. Contact Amida at info@amidalifecoach.co.uk for more information and find out how couples therapy can make your relationship strong again.

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Why me??
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I don’t know how many times I have asked myself that question. I would not be surprised if you are asking similar questions now. I went through a lot of attempts to solve my own problems myself as I thought it was weak and shameful to ask for help.

I wish I had the strength and knowledge I have now to rebuke these ideas and notions. Going to see a life coach was the best decision I ever made. They helped me grow spiritually, personally and created a foundation to explore my fears and desires.

I was struggling with a break up of a long-term relationship, which left me disorientated and helpless. Having an “enlightened” witness to listen to, interpret and challenge my thinking allowed me to understand my thoughts, feelings and behaviours.

With deep exploration and a structured plan, I was able to understand my unconscious choices and drives, allowing me to work through negative thinking forms, resulting in increased confidence and better relationships.

My own therapy and coaching has inspired me to train as a coach, a therapist and a spiritual practitioner offering varied platforms to support clients to move forward in all aspects of their lives.

 

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Embracing change
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With all the current turmoil and upheaval in the world today, we may become anxious or resistant to change. Here are my 6 tips to embrace change

  1. Reduce expectations.

We may need to re-evaluate expectations, and don’t expect or demand a particular outcomes; we learn to lessen our grip and attachment to these desired outcomes, becoming more open to other possibilities. With healthier expectations of life we are less likely to meet with loss, disappointment, and pain.

  1. Acknowledge change.

We learn learning change can happen quickly where things can and will be different from how they are now. Healthy change is allowing it to happen when it unfolds instead of approaching change from a place of denial and resistance.

  1. Accept change.

I desperately tried to prevent and stop change from happening in my work life and personal relationships, prolonging the inevitable by burying my head in the sand. I have learned Change encouraged transformation and growth, which when embraced allow us to make positive shifts and adjustments for a more fulfilling life.

  1. Learn from the experience.

If we accept and embrace change, we will start looking for and finding lessons from it. Once we can reflect upon the new experiences change has created, we can develop and see profound shifts in our lives. Change can be our greatest teacher, but only if we give ourselves permission to learn from it.

  1. Recognise you’re growing stronger.

When you accept, embrace, and learn from change, we inevitably grow stronger. The ability to continuously accept change creates a stronger foundation where we can adjust to the ever shifting social dynamics, financial burdens and political problems all around us.

  1. Embrace the wisdom.

Embracing change will bring newfound strength and more inner peace, more calmness and develop courage. We you will reach a level of understanding in life with a new cultivated wisdom which can embrace and accept change.

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